Tuesday, June 10, 2008

So frustrated...

HELP!!! I get so frustrated sometimes I don't know what to do. I want to spend time with him in the evenings, when Brooke is swimming is the perfect time for us to just forget about everything and talk. I don't know what to do. All I ask that at least once a day he come out and talk, I get tired of doing everything by myself and him doing everything by himself and then we never have any time together. It's stupid and it sucks. Then when I say something about it everything goes to shit. I don't have a problem with him doing his own, but damn I come home cook and take care of Brooke and do whatever else needs to be done. I suppose thats the difference between him having two balls and me having two boobs. WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?! He just wanted to go play Call of Duty, which is fine, but he can't do it when we're around because "we get in his way." Okay, that's great so when told that he could go inside and play CoD4 he's like no because you're going to be mad. I told him that I could get glad in the same pants I got mad in. It must be nice to be able to just do your own thing, but when do I get time?! Really, I don't ask for much so the least he can do is try and spend some time with me. The time we have is us laying in bed talking about everything that happened or our feelings or something. It sucks and I don't want to talk about everything at 11:30 while we're laying in bed. While Brooke is playing in the pool is the perfect opportunity for us to just sit and talk while she's occupied with something else. I understand that sometimes in the evening's it's hot here and he's been outside all day long in the heat, I do understand that, but this evening was nice. It's not like I was asking for a million dollars. Although, when I told him that I hated taking her swimming when some of the guys and their kids are out there he seems like it's no big deal.

Now granted I also understand that he's not used to having kids around all the time like with us living here now, and I respect that and we talked about that last night. But I'm trying to teach him and show him things and I feel like I get shot down. I was invited to something on Thursday night and I can't go because I have nothing to do with Brooke yet I'm not going to ask him to keep her either. She'd be cooped up in the house while, I was out having a good time with my girlfriends. I don't know what to do. It's so scary and sometimes I just want to give up, yet I know I can't. I'm not going to give up and regret it for the rest of my life. We have to work through it, we have to if it's going to work.

I don't know what to do, yet here is my post because I don't know what else to do and it won't be up for very long.

Kiss that special someone and tell them that you love them.