Tuesday, June 26, 2007

My daddy....

You see that picture of that man in the corner there? Thats my daddy. If you haven't figured out by now he's everything I've ever had in life. He's my confidant, best friend, my hero and most importantly he's my daddy!!! He's the most loving, caring, sincere man you will ever meet. And that's why he's my hero. He had his surgery yesterday, and it went good. However, I've never even seen my dad lay in bed because he didn't feel good, so to see him completely helpless yesterday was a huge shock to the system. It's the worst I've ever seen my dad EVER!!!! He's an amazing man, and I know that he'll be out of there in a few days, and when he's home I'll feel so much better about leaving him, but as long as he's at the hospital, I don't want to leave there, I just want to sit and look at my daddy. We don't have to exchange words, just being there with him means so much I know. This is the hardest thing we've ever seen him go through. He's been in the hospital with me twice and my mom a few times, but to see him completely down is not good. That's not my dad. He's a very outgoing person whose at work by 6:45 every morning and works until 6 sometimes or brings it home. His Brookins is missing him so much and it's so hard on her not to have her Poppy around to play with. We are on the homestretch now, it's all downhill from here, but I'll feel TEN times better when he gets in my moms truck and gets home. I can't wait to have his presence and laughter back in the house. Last night I went home to an empty house, and it's the hardest thing I've done in a really long time. My parents have gone on vacations and I've gone home to an empty house, but I've NEVER had to leave my dad someone and go home alone. It's super hard and I cried. I HATE THIS, but I know that when he's better all of this will have been worth it.

Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

150th post

WOOHOO for 150. However, not the point of this post.

We are leaving tomorrow for San Antonio at 9 in the morning. I'm really ready to get out of here and get some relaxation time in before everything becomes completely hectic and crazy. However, I'm not looking forward to what I'm coming back to. The whole thing with my dad. I don't really want to leave because I just want to stay here and spend time with my dad before next Monday. I know I know...I'm an emotional WRECK right now. I'm really looking forward to Brooke having a good time, and I know that it will be worth it and she'll have so much fun. And that's worth the trip itself. We have watched so much stuff on Sea World and she loves Shamu already, I just can't wait for the rest. Once my dad has had his surgery all will be better however, I think we all need some time away from one another. Please keep us in your prayers, for our trip and for our family.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Is nearly here and Brooke is way excited and asks me every morning when we are going to Sea World. She's going to have a great time. I'm really excited for her too. I'm excited just to get away from the stress and hub bub of work and family. I love my family and all, however, it'll be nice just to have sometime to wind down before my dad's surgery, which is the following Monday after we return. LOVELY!!!!!! Anyway, just thought I'd let everyone know I hadn't dropped off the face of the earth yet, just come really close. I'll try to blog from San Antonio and tell everyone how things are going. WOOHOOO!!!!

Monday, June 04, 2007

Ignorance is Bliss

Why oh why? I’ve been prepared to accept this kind of thing for the rest of my life, and dumb comments like this. However, I was not expecting them from someone I have known forever and love as a friend very much. I was talking to him on the phone this weekend, as he called to tell my mom thank you for something she gave her. I was telling him about Joe and he looked on myspace and found that yes, he is Hispanic. Now with all racist remarks aside, please know that he treats me like I should be treated and I hope that he can say the same for me. He is a true gentleman. Anyway, this person that I know, we’ll refer to him as “Jack”. So Jack proceeds to make racist comments and implies that Joe only listens to Tejano music, which is not true, and begins to imply that just because he’s Hispanic he does certain things. I proceeded to let him have it because I will not put up with that. He also asks me why I can’t date white guys or guys within my race. WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MATTER. We all have personal preferences and I would date Joe if he were white. Skin color doesn’t matter to me. I told him that Brooke was part Puerto Rican and if he wanted to judge Joe he was going to be judging my daughter and I don’t stand for that at all. Why do some people have to be so ignorant? I don’t understand. Why can’t people just be happy that he treats me right and loves me regardless of my little quirks, and besides that WHO IS HE TO JUDGE ME AND MY DECISIONS? He’s 16 years old and hasn’t even learned to live life, he’s still in that little High School mentality, and that’s frustrating. I guess that if I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have children with him, I suppose that I should get used to the inappropriate comments and just start blowing me off. The deal is that if you judge someone of a different race, you are ultimately judging Brooke.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Lots of Things

The closer my dad comes to having surgery so many things go through my mind, when it’s calm and still. Things like, what will I do if I lose the only thing I have? The only person who has loved me unconditionally? The only man my daughter knows and loves? What will I tell Brooke? How will I tell Brooke that her Poppi is gone, and she won’t see him until she’s in heaven? Will he be there to walk me down the aisle and give me away? Or will I have to have my second dad Joe do it? Ironic I know. These are all the things I think about. I don’t want to have a family and him not be part of it. I want him to meet my future child(ren). I want them to know what an incredible man their grandpa is, not just assume he was a great man by the memories he left in my life. I know that everyone has a way of dealing with this on their own but its kind of got me down and I don’t like it. I want my dad back, the upbeat, positive guy I’ve known for the past 23 years. Not the one fighting for his life at this very moment, and praying that his surgery will be okay, and that it hasn’t spread somewhere else. I can’t lose the only thing I have. He’s my everything and my world. If it weren’t for my dad I have no idea where I’d be. He’s the only father figure Brooke has ever known, and it’s important that he’s there for her right now, because he’s all WE have. He has been my biggest fan all of my life, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.

Please just keep our family in your prayers if you don’t mind!!!