Thursday, October 19, 2006

Dear that "Special Someone",

would you come out of that hole that you are hiding in and hit me or something?

It seems that when I start to give up there is someone new that comes into my life. My dad told me that I would find that special someone sometime, and not to grab the first one the passes by...hmm...I'm so sick of waiting and watching and sitting there alone. I'm not asking for the world...just to find that someone special. I don't feel pressured because all my friends are engaged or have been married and divorced, but I'm just tired of being alone. He said, he knows that I get frustrated with all of it, and you know what he's so right. I just want to find someone who will love me for me. Is it really possible? Do I carry too much emotional baggage? Am I a bitter person? Do I look like I hate the world? What the hell is wrong with me? Am I destined to live in the world alone with no one but my daughter and family to love me?

Hmm...things to ponder and cry about..just what I need.

On a good note...Megan is going to be an isn't that exciting....Congrats Megan!! Love you!!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Dear Fish,

You have been replaced by more interesting fish. You were loved and have been hiding in the car for sometime according to Brooke. We now have a black molly, a dalmation molly, a Mickey Mouse Platy, and two glass fish, as well as a frog. You and your baby's are missed, but these guys are more fun.

Okay, I replaced Brooke's fish that I accidently killed, and that is what they were replaced with. I kind of miss the baby's and watching them swim around, however, they were kind of a pain, always having to make sure they didn't accidently get sucked into the filter. The new fish are cool, although I don't think I'd get glass fish again, because they are kind of boring, but I do like watching the molly's play and frolic around the tank, if frolic is a word that can be used in the tank. Anyway, I hope that I'm taking care of them properly. Word to the wise aquarium keepers, do not use any ordinary sponge because unfortunately you run the HUGE risk of killing them. Go to a petstore near you and buy an aquarium sponge....THE FISH ARE BEGGING YOU!!

Have a nice day, and I hope everyone had a great weekend.


Thursday, October 12, 2006


Why does this always happen to me?

So here at work, the office staff is awesome. I can not complain there. However in the women department is it not so great. As a kid I never really had a place in any group and tried my hardest to fit in. Here I am 22 years old and still searching for my place in the world. Although I have come to terms with it more now than ever that I don’t really care about what my place is in any group. I’m not going to lie, cheat, and steal to fit into anyone’s little mold. I am me, I am who I am, and not what everyone else wants me to be. I AM KOURTNEY!!! I however do not appreciated being treated like shit because I don’t fit into your little mold that you have created and designed for those around you. I’m sorry if you don’t like me for who I am, but I am honest. I will not tell fake stories or one’s that are highly exaggerated just so that you think I am “cool.” I am not cool, I will never be cool, and personally I don’t want to be cool. I am a “cool” aunt to my neice and nephew whom I love and adore very much. I do not have anything in common with these “women” here in the office and I see now that I really don’t want to be. I don’t have horses therefore I’m not spoken to unless I speak to them first. I am not accepted here and it’s because I don’t sit at people’s desks for an hour and chit chat about the 100 horses I really don’t have. My god get a life, damn, don’t you have work to do, because damn, I sure do have a lot. If your that bored my fish tank at home needs to be cleaned out, get after it.

I have an amazing friend and some of you may have read her blog before. She is amazing in every sense of the world. She completes who I am. We have had plenty of falling outs but we never have forgotten where our tiny little roots began to grow and then magically blossomed into an amazing flower. We have never forgotten to be humble or even humbled by the things in our lives. We have never forgotten that even though we were not raised with a lot of money our friendship DOES NOT depend on that. We are who we are for a reason and I love Megan more than anything. We have been best friends since we were 6 years old. I can remember her coming over and playing and me going to her house to spend the night on more than one occasion. She is a true friend. When no one stuck by my side when I found out I was pregnant, she was there holding my hand every step of the way. She even was friend enough to carry the pregnancy test around Wal-Mart, even after seeing one of our classmates. She is an amazing woman, and I hope that we grow old together.

Thank your best friend today for being there through the roughest of times!!!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Homecoming 2006

I went to Homecoming for my alma mater and had a decent time. I wouldn't call it great. I'm amazed at how some people who hated you in high school, haven't really changed and then there are those who have made a complete turn around and you can actually stand to be around them. So it's been nearly five years since I graduated and yet I still seem to find a way to torture myself and go anyway. you suppose something is wrong with me. You should go visit Megan's blog to read what she has to say because she put it in words very well. I can't say that I can do a very good job of it.

I did have fun watching my nine year old nephew have a little homecoming date, it was cute and they were cute together. The little girl he chose to take is a real sweetheart!!!! She's cute and I'm sure that she thought I was a little on the weird side, but hey, I'm not too worried about it.

Here are some pictures from homecoming.

My nephew drinking his coke and acting proud to have gone with the prettiest little girl.

Me and my nephews date, Alana. Now isn't she just the cutest little thing?

I think you know these two girls very well, but if you don't that's me and my sister!!!

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while, the mood has just not struck me in sometime. FCF's could start back up soon, so we'll see.