Friday, April 15, 2011

Random Rantings!

I know that we all go through trials in life and sometimes it's seems as though we're all alone fighting it all by ourselves.  We are not alone, He is with us, but sometimes we forget to turn to him.  We get wrapped up in our daily lives, work, school, kids, home, husband/wife, and forget about what's most important.  We always think about providing monetarily for our families, but we often forget the emotional aspect that's involved in it all!  We are all guilty of this!  I go to school, work, take care of the house, dinner, whatever needs to be done there and then have no time for myself.  I'm wrapped up in trying to make a living for my family by working and by going to school ensuring that in the future I can provide more than I can right now!  I do not want to be the breadwinner I just don't want to struggle financially anymore, but we tend to leave out the most important part of the whole equation, our husbands, wives, or kids!  

I'm struggling more than ever right now.  I don't make a whole lot at the job I do have but they treat me well, and they are letting me do what I need to for school.  Not many employers are like that!  It's easy here not a whole lot to it, so fairly simple and probably the least stressful job I've ever in my entire life had.  I'm truly blessed here!  Now while this is only temporary, as is everything else, so is school.  It's not forever but sometimes I feel like I'm in all this mess all by myself!  I'm also a little on the pregnant side, which makes EVERYTHING seem like a HUGE ORDEAL! I cry because I don't know what we're gonna have for dinner.  I cry because I'm stressed about school, work, Brooke, and spending time with the man I love.  Now who did I forget, myself...I don't have time for any of those things I listed much less myself.  That's draining all on it's own.  No time for me, but I need me time.  And sometimes that is hard to come by!  I cry about that too! My clothes don't fit and that's rather depressing and all he can say, is it's gonna be okay, we'll get you some new ones.  While it's enough it still don't help the fact that I'm growing a little more each day until eventually I'm gonna look like a beached whale.  And we're going to the beach this out...I'm sure little kids are gonna say, "look mom, look at that big ole whale."  Okay, maybe I'm a little bit TOO hard on myself sometimes, I get that, but still I'm pregnant and this too is temporary!