Conflict

Sometimes there is conflict in our lives, whether it be between us and a family member, spouse, children, parents, or even within ourselves.  It exists!  Some of us deal with it by just ignoring it, facing it, letting it go, or just walking away!  There are only so many times that you can ignore it, face it, or let it go, before you just walk away and give up.  I'm walking away!  Walking away from people who do not respect others and probably haven't for a long time.  This is a battle that is long overdue and for whatever reason it's occuring now!  It's not nice, lovely, or even a happy thing.  It's a necessary thing.  At what point do we say, enough is enough.  You can act like children, but you can do so without me around. 


I specifically asked my parents not to talk about something that is going on in my life.  I would have liked to have told the rest of my family myself, considering I am an adult.  I don't understand who thought it was their place to pass the word on, and apparently it's not just happening with my parents but with my mom's side of the family as well.  They have betrayed my trust and passed along some information.  Some of which not everyone knows everything about.  They think they do but they don't.  I wanted to be able to tell them so that I, myself, could answer whatever questions they might have had vs. them getting bs answers from my family.  Of course my family has put me down for every possible thing so I don't know why it wouldn't be any different this time.  They took something very precious from me when I was 19 and now 8 years later they've taken it from me again.  Yes, that happens to be me telling the rest of my family that I'm pregnant!  My parents were so ashamed when I was 19 and pregnant that they waited until I was showing and the day before Thanksgiving to tell the rest of my family.  I didn't get that privalege!  So instead of thinking that beautiful baby girl was a blessing I thought of her as a curse for a long time.  She has blessed my life tremendously!


Here again, after asking them to respect me and not tell the rest of my family because I wanted to, what do they do, turn around and do it to me again.  And it's not just with my parents this time!  It's happened all the way around with my aunt too!  I don't understand it, and probably never will, but I'm done.  I'm washing my hands of them because I'm sick and tired of it.  I understand that I've hurt my parents, you expect that from your children, they do that!  No matter what the age, but you certainly don't expect it from your parents! 


They talked about reconciliation at church yesterday, which was awesome!  How many times do you have to try and reconcile with people who just constantly want to hurt you?  They thrive on that, and honestly I think they enjoy it quite a bit.  If my mom isn't happy or she's miserable, she wants to make sure everyone else's life is a living hell to, and will do whatever she can to ensure that!  It's rediculous.  I'm glad my family loves drama, because they can keep it but I'm out of there.  My parents are fixing to understand what it's like to start out with 3 duaghters and only have one.  My oldest sister doesn't have much to do with them either!  I can't do it anymore and I can't see putting my family through it either.  Like it or not Colby is here to stay, no matter what you say or do.  I'm finally standing up for myself, something I've waited so long to do, but the time is here and it's NOW!  I always try and give my mom second chances but it always ends up the same way! ALWAYS! 


I will have conflict with these people no longer.