God has IMPECCABLE timing!

Man God has a perfect timing for everything in your life.  I must say He has impeccable timing.  I know that today in church I was supposed to sit in the 2nd row from the top in seat 8.  Why?  Because that's where he told me to plop down at.  I sit alone at church.  I'm not alone in that church, God is with me wherever I go.  The message today was amazing. Just what I needed to hear honestly.  And what has happened this evening has been amazing as well.  Today some of the things that we talked about were Peace.  Peace that surpasses all understanding.  What an amazing thing.  First we have to have Peace WITH God.  Then Peace OF God.  Lastly, Peace WITH EACH OTHER!  

The other thing he spoke about was how we have to forgive..that doesn't always mean forgetting but if we forgive then we have peace with that situation.  As some of you know my forgiveness to someone has never fully happened.  I say I forgive this person but I always take it back.  God did not die on the cross to forgive OUR sins only to take them back. He continually forgives, those Sins are long erased from our book of life, if we so choose that path.  Now its time to erase someone's sins from my book of life.  Reconciliation is one way of doing so. We reconcile relationships, friendships, marriages, and many other things.  I have reconciled one relationship with someone very special to me. Someone who I love so dearly.  Many will not agree and that is fine, they don't have to.  We want to be together, and we want Christ to be the CENTER of our relationship.  We are trying to control one too many things.  We are human but we need to let Christ do all of it.  If we keep Him the focus then the rest will just fall into place.  There we many things that have happened in order for us to lead up to this moment.  We dated people just to fill the void of each other.  Thinking we could try and replace each other with someone else.  It could never happen.  I always had him in the back of my mind.  Always wondered if he was trying to do the same.  Always yearning for a hug, a kiss, or something to say that everything was going to be okay.  It was never the same when I was with someone else.  I learned very quickly that you can not replace the one you love with someone else.  It does NOT happen.  This is a relationship that I hope stands the test of time.  So far it's been 3 years in 5 days.  I didn't know it was possible to love someone else for so incredibly long.  I love you! 

I have the need to reconcile a relationship that has been so hard on me for so long.  The relationship with my mom is one that I need to work on.  Do I want to?  Absolutely not, I'd like to put it off for another day, but it's something I need to do because she won't be here forever.  I have begun taking the steps to reconcile the relationship with my oldest sister.  It will take some time just like the one with my mom will, but I will do it. I do not like the conflict that is between mom and I.  I would so like for it to be different.  Unfortunately I have tried many times and get the same results, so why would I want to try again? She will not be around forever and I do not want something to happen to her and me have a hardened heart.  I do not want to have ill feelings against this woman forever.  This horrible relationship I've always had with her factors into a lot of things.  What kind of girlfriend I was and what kind of mom I had become.  I'm ready to turn those things around.  I want to be a better mom, and although I didn't have the greatest example, I have to be the best for Brooke.  I want to be the best girlfriend to my boyfriend, and someday the best wife.  I want to lead by example.  I can not go on living like this forever.  I can no longer carry these things around.  By forgiving her I have to work to reconcile and work to let those things go.  It will be hard and there will be many roadblocks, just because I know how the devil likes to stir the pot, but I will make it.  Maybe she feels the exact same way, but neither one of us knows where to begin.

Today I make a commitment to be a better mother, girlfriend, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, student, co-worker and more importantly a Soldier for Christ.