Friends? What friends?

You would think that I had so many friends that I would have to divide time between. Think again as this was never the case. I feel as though growing up people just pretended to be my friends, especially when they wanted something. Why is it now that I don’t feel that they invite me to their showers or other get to gethers because they are my friend, but because they want gifts, or they want more people at their party than the other girl had at hers!!! I feel alone in this world and really feel that I have only a few “loyal” friends. Take Megan for instance. We have been best friends since the 1st grade. That’s 17 years!! WOOHOOO GO US!!! We have been through a lot and even though we are many miles apart we have not forgotten where it all started that day in first grade. And I have made a promise to myself and to my mom that I will not attend another wedding, wedding shower, or baby shower until one of my good friends has one or Megan decides to get married. Perhaps it’s because my parents weren’t willing to shell out their life savings on a $100.00 pair of jeans because it said GAP or the Buckle on the tag. Who really gives what your pants or shirt say. I was not popular nor was I liked, however I felt like I was always respectful and never gave anyone any reason not to like me. I was a loner all through school and those people who called me their friend then, definitely do not mean it now. I feel used!!! I told my mom how I felt about it, that people I think are just using us for our gifts and somehow feel obligated to invite me to their functions, however, I’m sick of going and being treated like shit. She cried with me because secretly inside I think she knew how I felt. I hope I’ve never displayed this myself. I have been invited to someone’s graduation on Saturday and I will attend like the loyal friend I am, because it is Megan, and I’ll buy her some expensive graduation gift, because even when I was a bitch to her, she never let me down. She stuck with me through the worst time in my life, so I thought, and hung on during my many mood swings. I love that girl to death, and there is nothing that can drive our friendship into the ground. We will remain loyal friends until the day that we’re dead, and for that I’m grateful. Go give her a shout on her page and tell her how proud of her you are. I CERTAINLY AM!! She’s my best friend, my lifesaver, and my sister from another mother. I’m proud to say that if I ever needed anything her family would be there for me just as they were throughout my pregnancy!! What a supportive family they are as well. I love them all, even that little turkey Lance, her brother!!!